just like what bestie did in her blog, rant about her stressful life in college
here i will also have a post on how i feels too

first of all, i absolutely agreed with what she said
no doubt, college life is hard
never i thought i will lead such kind of life after 'o'
truly, i declared myself as a failure to choose this path from start
the irony is that i once swear that i won't regret, but i can't deceived myself that i am happy with this kind of life
sometimes i feel so stressful and that i have no courage to move on
the fact is that i am not those study nerds who love to study, i have been deceiving myself ever since i step into college
they don't suits me, or either i don't suits there too
well! something i can't deny is that the people there aren't as bad as what i initially thought
they show care and concern also, friendly as ever
but there is something that deviates them from secondary schoolmates
the fact is that they are all potential muggers
whenever there is test, you can see the tension in them
every seconds is like a precious to them, you can never see their notes off their hands or even their eyes
seeing that makes me more stressful also, i always feels that i have not done enough, not enough preparation as compared to them
i will feel guilty, i will feel demoralise
of all, surely i know that this is the kind of life i never want! NEVER...

i miss those days whereby i have lesser work to do, lesser worries also
now then i realised secondary school life is so easy, everyday=no homework day
everyday i can jolly well slack at home, or even out for fun till late midnight is also not a problem
but now, replenishing energy is important...
every minute is very precious, there is no way you can waste these little one minute like i used to before
i cry for god to answer to my prayer, to turn back the time and that i won't choose this path
i am so mentally and physically tired now, no word can describe the pain inside me
my strong front will soon collapse

i miss my bed, i miss my room too
everyday i spend more time at school then at home
or should i say school have become my home and my home have become my school
the table become my bed and my bed become my table
look at me now! think i love people saying that i have slim down?
ha! actually i keen to grow fatter in exchange for a carefree life, i mean it!
my soul isn't my soul now, it belongs to mugger yingting who i never wish to befriend with her
i hate myself for being myself

like today, pw created more troubles again
groups members were all feeling down, some flared up, some just have their silent reflection
to think that we spend so many hours on that fucking suck cork project and now we are still at the AE grade
how i wish i am just some other rich chap that can pay for experts to help us do, but too bad i am not
is so disheartening when pw tutor told us that we have chosen a difficult groundbreaker to do on
why didn't she tell us earlier? now there is nothing we can do but to move on with whatever we have
consultation with her don't seems to help us, the impression that she gave me is that it is her job so she must entertain us
the moment of silence certainly make me hate college life more
but we have not gave up, we must a pact to come together this saturaday again
to redo-REDO you know? not matter what, we must finished it before the end of holiday
seriously, i have already prepared to being my pillow over and ton at her house to finish all the things
no mater what price we have to pay, by hook or by crook we must get it done

retain me! or kick me out of school, i am more than willing to leave that hell place
i am going to be ruin if i don't ruin my promos, should i?
toss coin again to decide my fate? will that be too vague?